THE RELIC

Monster Museum Piece

No one looks forward to the release of a new monster movie more than I do (and they're few and far between these days), but I can not recommend this one without a word of warning. To put it bluntly, this aptly named throwback is not really a very good film.

It involves a big monster that runs around loose in Chicago's Field Museum (and the tunnels beneath it) eating the brains out of anyone that gets close. If that sounds like fun to you, then you should have a good time, but don't expect much beyond that. A few of the performances are good, including that of leads Tom Sizemore (as a streetwise cop) and Penelope Anne Miller (as a plucky scientist. But the most of the rest of the film is downright laughable, whether intentionally so or not. The writers have jettisoned the reason given in the novel as to why the creature is created in the first place, and proceed to present scene after scene of their characters making wrong moves and easily-avoided blunders. As savvy as the folks populating Wes Craven's Scream are as to what to avoid in beast-in-the-house situations, these people are just as ignorant.

Compounding the problem is the direction by the usually competent Peter Hyams. Hyams desperately tries to generate false thrills by making almost every shot a tight close-up, and makes matters only worse with quick cuts and flashing lights. In contrast, the scenes of the monster attacking were surely directed by the beast's creator, special effects whiz Stan Winston, and they show a great deal more intelligence. Winston, who showed much promise with Pumpkinhead, should be allowed more time in the director's chair.

The monster itself (dubbed "Kathoga"), is a nifty beastie - sort of a combination of Predator, Alien, and The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms. The biggest problem with this film is that there's not enough of the monster, and way too much of various stupid characters running around going nowhere. For monster fans desperate for a decent fix only - all others should beware.

Supernatural beastie; head rolls; mad lab.

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